Posts tagged ‘Bats’
Once, this mouse walks up to her 2 girlfriends with a bat and introduces him:
Hi Girls, meet my boyfriend. He is a pilot :D
Yeah Yeah. More Twilight Humour. Just 2 days away from the movie pre-premiers in Oslo with celebrity visit Elizabeth Reaser (which I am impatiently awaiting myself as well) I had some fun finding more Twilght jokes and demotivationals.
Quite sad to still be a virgin at the age of 109 …
Wonder who he thought he’d impress …
I do agree. Stalking, controlling, manipulation and belittling in a relationship is not healthy in any kind of relationships (Thankfully thirst for blood is something most of us never will get to experience), but Edwards SPARKLES! and who doesn’t like diamonds? Right Bells?
Of course – there are always twinkies.
Disturbing womens expectations to men all over the world
Playing outside in winter time
But you don’t !!! I just know it.
Well I’m far from as bad as these girls…
Again, who doesn’t like diamonds? And I’m certain all the guys complaining out there… They are just complaining because they don’t want to buy us Diamonds!
I can sense some tension here …
Whats the difference between a politician and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks the blood out of people at night.
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
OK, follow me, he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him tongues hanging out for blood.
“Do you see that large oak tree over there?” he asked. “YES, YES, YES!!!!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
“Good!” said the first bat, “Because I fucking didn’t.”
A vampire walks into a bar, “Pint of blood, landlord.” he says. The barman gives him his order.
A second vampire walks into the bar, “Pint of your finest blood, please.” he says. Again, the barman pours his order.
A third vampire walks into the bar and says, “A mug of hot water, barman.”
The barman looks puzzled at the vampire, and asks, “Why would you want that? We serve the finest blood in all town!”
The vampire then held up a used tampon and answered, “I’m making tea.”