Posts tagged ‘Car’

Car Keys

They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen.
As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband:”I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.”
There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice._”ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” _he barked, _”I DROPPED YOU OFF!”_

Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”
He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your damn car!”

Ashes To Ashes

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them.

“You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money.”

Then she whispers, “You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes…”