Posts tagged ‘Childhood’

Exam Questions – and Answers…

No matter how far our exams are dumbed down, it seems it’s not far enough for today’s pupils. 

But rather than admit defeat in the face of tricky questions, some decide to take a more creative approach to their answers.
After scouring exam papers and speaking to teachers, humorist Richard Benson has collected the worst student howlers in a new book.
You won’t know whether to laugh – or cry. 
 

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Moses …

Moses in his early years

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Moses Hanging out with friends

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Moses explaining..

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TV Chef Ante Valente prepares steamed stupid ferret in white wine sauce

Back in the late 80’s / early 90’s Italian TV chef, Gino Valente rolled over the screens on a weekly basis, showing Norwegians how to cook pasta and make other kind of italian dishes. It was one of the first cooking shows other than the famous Norwegian TV chef Ingrid Espelid Hovig, that was the only TV chef on Norwegian television for ages.

Herodes Falsk, a Norwegian comedian, created a parody on Ginos TV program (which was sent during a program he co-hosted with Tom Mathisen) about drunken Sami Chef Ante Valente.

This is a HUGE part of Norwegian Popular Culture from the 80’s / 90’s and if you are new to Norway and you hear people saying Jatta Jatta Jatta or Neita Neita Neita and has NO idea what they are babbeling about… This is it..

PS: This film is in Norwegian, but I have translated his whole conversation beneath the youtube film clip:

Ok, before the translation here I need to explain something.
“Jatta” is not really a word. It is a slang word used for the word Ja da. Ja means YES and Da means then. “Yes Then” is the real phrase, but the meaning is Yes and that is what I’ll use.
The same counts for the word Neita, slang for Nei da (which means NO then), but due to these jokes the phrase “Jatta, Jatta, Jatta” and “Neita, Neita, Neita” can STILL be heard all over the country at parties and in social situations by fans of this humor and these jokes.

I dag skal æ lage Dom Ilder i gummistøvel – dampet i hvitvin.
Today I will make a Stupid Ferret in a latex boots – in white wine

Men korleis veit du at en ilder e dom? Kan du se det? Neida Neida Neida
But how do you know a ferret is stupid? Can you see it? No No No

Kan du spørre den? Jada Jada Jada
Can you ask it? Yes Yes Yes

Vi spør den først. Vil du dampes i hvitvin (ilder nodder på hodet) og svarer den ja da e det en dom ilder og da kan du bare drepe den.
We ask it first. Do you want to be prepared in white wine? (ferret nodding its head) and if it answers yes, then it is a stupid ferret and you can go on and kill it.

Er du død? Jatta jatta jatta
Are you dead? Yes Yes Yes

Da e det bare å ta frem gummistøvlen og så putte du ilderen nedi og så helle på hvitvin. jatta jatta jatta
And then all you have to do is to get the boot and put the ferret inside and poor white wine over it. Yes Yes Yes

Ah. og så skal den bare stå og dampe i 3 timer, men hvis ikkje du har 3 timer så kan du gjøre som onkel Aalo, du kan helle av laken. jatta jatta jatta,
And then it is supposed to be damping for 3 hours, but if you don’t have 3 hours you can do like my uncle Aalo. Just poor the wine out of the boot. Yes Yes Yes

Og så kaster du ildern og så har du et enkelt lite måltid. Skål
And then you throw out the ferret and  you have an easy meal. Cheers !

Falls over

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A Teddy Bears Importance in your life!

TV Chef Ante Valente prepares his famous “Snow Scooter Sandwich”

Back in the late 80’s / early 90’s Italian TV chef, Gino Valente rolled over the screens on a weekly basis, showing Norwegians how to cook pasta and make other kind of italian dishes. It was one of the first cooking shows other than the famous Norwegian TV chef Ingrid Espelid Hovig, that was the only TV chef on Norwegian television for ages.

Herodes Falsk, a Norwegian comedian, created a parody on Ginos TV program (which was sent during a program he co-hosted with Tom Mathisen) about drunken Sami Chef Ante Valente.

This is a HUGE part of Norwegian Popular Culture from the 80’s / 90’s and if you are new to Norway and you hear people saying Jatta Jatta Jatta or Neita Neita Neita and has NO idea what they are babbeling about… This is it..

PS: This film is in Norwegian, but I have translated his whole conversation beneath the youtube film clip:

Ok, before the translation here I need to explain something.
“Jatta” is not really a word. It is a slang word used for the word Ja da. Ja means YES and Da means then. “Yes Then” is the real phrase, but the meaning is Yes and that is what I’ll use.
The same counts for the word Neita, slang for Nei da (which means NO then), but due to these jokes the phrase “Jatta, Jatta, Jatta” and “Neita, Neita, Neita” can STILL be heard all over the country at parties and in social situations by fans of this humor and these jokes.

Translation Snow Scooter Sandwitch
Yes, i dag skal æ lære dokker korleis vi lage det kjente reinsdyrsmørbrødet fra karasjokk, men før vi begynner må vi slappe helt av.
Today I will teach you how we prepare the famous reindeer sandwitch from Karasjok, but before we start we need to be completely relaxed.

Men korleis slappe vi helt av? Med massasje? Neida Neida Neida
Med boblebad? Neida Neida Neida Med sprit? Jatta Jatta Jatta
But how do we relax completely? With a massage? No No No With a bubble bath? No No No With Licor? Yes Yes Yes.

Ouf så avslappa. Og så må vi lage maten. Kor e reinsdyra?
Oh so relaxed. And now we need to cook. Where are the reindeers?

E dæm i skapet? (looking around) Ikkje nokka reinsdyr her. Neida Neida Neida
Are they in the closet? Nope. No reindeers here. No No No

Da får vi heller lage snøscooter sandwich?
Well, then we will rather make a snowscooter sandwich.

Først trenger du 2 store skiver. Jatta Jatta Jatta.
First you need 2 big pieces of bread. Yes Yes Yes

Og så tar vi littegranne smør på. Jatta Jatta Jatta Litt smør. Og så Pålegg
And we spread just a wee bit of butter. Yes Yes Yes. Just a bit butter. And then some cold cuts.

Pålegg er viktig. Jatta Jatta Jatta
Cold cuts is very important. Yes Yes Yes

Men korleis tilbereder vi en snøscooter sandwitch?
But how do we make a snowscooter sandwitch?

Skal den grilles? Neida Neida Neida. Skal den Ristes? Neida Neida Neida
Is it to be BBQ’ed? No No No. Is it to be toasted? No No No

Den skal drikkes. Det skal vi se. kanskje vi har glemt littegranne…
It shall be drunken. Lets see. Maybe we have forgotten something

Pooring “drink” into glass:
Da får vi håpe at vi ikke har hatt for mye smør på.
Lets just hope we didnt spread too much butter on it.

Og så sees vi igjen neste uke. Skål
And we will meet again next week. Cheers

TV Chef Ante Valente prepares sour milk a la Mexico

Back in the late 80’s  / early 90’s Italian TV chef, Gino Valente rolled over the screens on a weekly basis, showing Norwegians how to cook pasta and make other kind of italian dishes. It was one of the first cooking shows other than the famous Norwegian TV chef Ingrid Espelid Hovig, that was the only TV chef on Norwegian television for ages.

Herodes Falsk, a Norwegian comedian, created a parody on Ginos TV program (which was sent during a program he co-hosted with Tom Mathisen) about drunken Sami Chef Ante Valente.

This is a HUGE part of Norwegian Popular Culture from the 80’s / 90’s and if you are new to Norway and you hear people saying Jatta Jatta Jatta or Neita Neita Neita and has NO idea what they are babbeling about… This is it..

PS: This film is in Norwegian, but I have translated his whole conversation beneath the youtube film clip:

Ok, before the translation here I need to explain something.
“Jatta” is not really a word. It is a slang word used for the word Ja da. Ja means YES and Da means then. “Yes Then” is the real phrase, but the meaning is Yes and that is what I’ll use.
The same counts for the word Neita, slang for Nei da (which means NO then), but due to these jokes the phrase “Jatta, Jatta, Jatta” and “Neita, Neita, Neita” can STILL be heard  all over the country at parties and in social situations by fans of this humor and these jokes.

Translation of Milk a la Mexico:

Har du noen gang vært i Koma? Jatta Jatta Jatta
Have you ever been comatized? Yes Yes Yes

Og så har du våknet etter 14-15 dager?
And then woken up again after 14-15 days?

Og alt du har i huset er 1 liter med surna melk, litt sprit og en sitron.
And all you have in the house is 1 litre of soured milk, some liqor and a lemon.

Kan du da lage dæ et herlig måltid? Jatta Jatta Jatta
Can you still make a delicious meal out of that? Yes Yes Yes

Du kan lage melk a la Mexico.
You can make Milk a la Mexico

Først så tar du den surna melken og heller oppi en bolle. Jatta Jatta Jatta
First you take the sour milk and pours it into a bowl. Yes Yes Yes.

Kor e maten? Inni e kjøleskapet? Neita Neita Neita
Where is the food? Inside the fridge? No No No

Den er under kjøleskapet? Vi tar feiebrett og så finner vi noen småsaker.
It is under the fridge. We will take a duster and find some small stuff.

Og ser om vi er litt heldig i dag. Jatta Jatta Jatta
Let’s see if we are lucky today. Yes Yes Yes

Se her. litt grønnsaker. Jatta Jatta Jatta
Look here. Some vegetables. Yes Yes Yes

En død mus. Jatta Jatta Jatta
A dead mous. Yes Yes Yes

Og et lite knekkebrød vi kan strø over. Jatta Jatta Jatta
And a small piece of crackers that we can spread over it. Yes Yes Yes

Og så tar vi å rører alt sammen litt rundt. Jatta Jatta Jatta
And then we stir it all together. Yes Yes Yes

Smaker det godt? Neita Neita Neita
Does it taste good? No No No

Og det er da du må gjøre som i Mexico….
And this is when you’ll have to do like in Mexico…

Eats, swallows, drinks, lemon and Shakes head around…
Almost faints..