Posts tagged ‘Dogs’

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Dog Business

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Suicidal

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Christmas Pets

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Cats

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itsastick

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No need to fake an orgasm

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Cute Animals

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BB Boys

A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won’t matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don’t even notice the BBs.

The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, ”Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!”
She says ”That’s okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You’ll be fine.”

Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, ”Mom, mom, I-” but the mother cuts him off and she says, ”I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.”

Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, ”Mom, mom, I-” and the mother cuts him off and says, ”I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It’s my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.” But then son says, ”No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!”

Yo Quiero Taco Bell

Remember the talking Chihuahua that wanted his TacoBell meal?

Arthur Andersen consultant

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a deserted road.

Suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerrutti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, and a YSL tie gets out and asks the shepherd: If I guess how many sheep you do have, you give me one of them?

The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the sheep which graze and says: – All right.

The young man parks the car, connects the notebook and the mobile, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a data base and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints a 150-pages report on his high-tech mini-printer. He then turns to the shepherd and says: You have exactly 1586 sheep here.

The shepherd answers: – That’s correct, you can have your sheep.
The young man takes the sheep and puts it in the back of his jeep.

The shepherd looks at him and asks: – If I guess your profession, will you return my sheep to me?

The young man answers: – Yes, why not.

The shepherd says: – You are an Arthur Andersen consultant!

How did you know? asks the young man.

Very simple, answers the shepherd:
First, you come here without being called. Second, you charge me, to tell me something I already knew. Third, you do not understand anything about what I do, because you took my dog!

How to tell if your dog is Puerto Rican

Isn’t this little fella just adorable?

I so want a Puerto Rican Dog!!!

Yo Quiero TacoBell!

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Cuteness Hannibal Lector Style…