Posts tagged ‘Family Life’

Letter from Home

Dear Son,

I am writing this letter slowly, because I know you don’t read so fast.

We no longer live in the same place where we lived when you left us for studies. Your father read in the newspaper that most accidents happens within 2 miles of your home, so we moved.

Unfortunately I cannot send you the address, because the people that lived here before us brought the house number with them, so that they wouldn’t have to change address themselves.

The house is real nice and we even have a washing machine here. However Im not all that certain if it works as it is supposed to. Last week I put some clothes in there but after I started it, no one has seen the clothes since then.

The weather is nice here though. Last week it only rained twice. The first time it rained for 3 days, and the other time it rained for 4 days.

About the jacket you wanted me to send you, your uncle Jonas said that it would be too heavy to send through mail, so I cut off the buttons and put them in the inner pocket instead.

Your father locked the keys in his car yesterday. We were real worried for a while, because it took us almost 2 hours to get your brother out.

Your uncle Harry fell into a barrel of MoonShine last week. We tried getting him out of there, but he just laughed and didn’t want to get up. In the end he drowned. We cremated him, but he is still burning..

Some of your friends drove off a bridge last week in a pick up. Two of them, Kenneth and Ronny, drowned because they sat on the back of the truck and they weren’t able to close the lid fast enough.

Other than that nothing much has happened here.

Love,
Mom

PS: I was going to add some money to the letter, but when I remembered so I had already closed the envelope…

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Top 10 WTF? US Sex Laws

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The untold story of Barbie’s life…

In one way or another most of us has some kind of a relationship to Barbie, the doll of every 12 year old’s dreams (and lots of other ages too).
She is probably the reason half of us has some kind of a sick view on body ideals and grow up with eating disorders and she has a whole lot of people out there that love to hate her.

Every now and then I have found pictures posted on facebook or other places by someone with a bit more fantasy than myself that has modernized Barbie just that little bit extra to make her the strong, independant woman we all can look up to (or fear).

During studies Party Barbie attended lots of parties with her sorority friends.

Some times Barbie had too much fun and she turned into Sorority Slut Barbie.

Barbie wasn’t a rich girl during her studies and she had to get a job on the side. Exotic Dancer barbie had great success in her job and she managed to finance her studies with this job.

Due to her job, she met many strange people and then Barbie really started exploring her own boundaries. Bondage Barbie had lots of fun.

A lot of experimenting follows

One day Barbie started feeling unwell and realized she had become pregnant

Then Barbie met Ken and they started dating

With this Barbie calmed down a bit and she was happy with Ken.
Barbie got a normal job in an office and turned into the MadMen Barbie.

One day Barbie and Ken moved in together and we got the Long Term Relationship Barbie

In the modern family both Barbie and Ken had a few kids before they met and we could find the whole extended family in the My Kids – Your Kids – Our Kids Barbie.

The whole Long Term Relationship thing is not for our Barbie. She ends up cheating on Ken with Jim. Ken is horrified.

Ken rages and Barbie snaps and a hostage situation ends badly for poor Ken.

Unfortunately Barbie gets a thrill of the Kill and we now have to look out for Serial Killer Barbie

But Of course Barbie is a modern housewife after all…
She cleans her crime scene with bleach!

And for Halloween Serial Killer Barbie is having fun with her kids.

Then – Repenting what she has done – Barbie starts testing out drugs in the new version Party Barbie

Of course this doesn’t work out so well and Doped Out Barbie is a symbol of that

When she comes down from her trip Babie gets sick and Barfing Barbie can be found in stores all over.

Unfortunately one day barbie is out driving while on drugs and she has an accident.

The accident causes her to temporarily become Wheel Chair Barbie.

All the kids are taken from her by child support and with nothing left Barbie joins the army and is sent to Afganistan.

After this no-one heard from Barbie apart from the occational zombie spotting.

Star Wars Jokes 2

Welcome to the second round of Dark Empire Jokes…

Wise words from Yoda

Hogwarts awaits new school participants

Free Hugs everyone, Free hugs

Dont act like your dad…

Why some people start to drink.

One seeks jobs wherever one can get one

One bad Chewbacca

Family Vacation