Posts tagged ‘Food’

One gourd to roux them all…

One gourd to roux them all, two eggs to bind them, one gourd, add sugar and spice, and with some whipped cream pie them.

384016_300251516670975_1951331232_n

From George Takei

Advertisements

Creative Cooking !

No one can ever claim that the people who thought out these ideas are not creative. I am quite impressed by their creativeness !

Although I do doubt I would be very happy to come home to find my husband cooking bacon with the hair straightener…

frying2

or if he was cooking sausage with the iron.

frying

However the lawn Mower… I am very impressed

frying3

Lets Run before they Findus

554155_170742219740638_1874535779_n

602244_10152290839357316_1186497538_n

385317_10151394133319749_1728303136_n

6580261_700b

ADAMS20130117_2453743a

o-FINDUS-570

pielkejr_burger

porklabel

tesco-horse-meat-funny

untitled

You know you are having a bad day when…

– The bird singing outside of your window is a Vulture.
– You have a mini-heart attack when your alarm goes off in the morning.
– Your Twin Brother forgets your birthday.
– Your doctor says: I have one bad news for you, and one that is really bad.
– The emergency hot line puts you on hold.
– You are the main news, but you are only mentioned as “The Suspect”.
– You wake up involuntarily in a different state.
– The doctor tells you that you are allergic towards food.
– You have to ask for a loan to pay off debts.
– The Psychic offers to give you your money back after having looked into your future.
– A TV-team fra “Fox Crime” waits for you in the office when you arrive work.
– The first page in the newspapers say: EVACUATE NOW!
– Just when you walk under a ladder, you trip over a black cat just to break a mirror.
– Your hairdresser says:  “Ooops! You did have two ears when you came, right?”

I’m not saying you sleep with you roommate…

A mother is invited by her son, Anthony, for dinner.

He lives with a female roommate, Tina.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Tina and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Tina came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure. ”

So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear Mama,
I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

Dear son,
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Tina, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Love, Mama

Image

Canned Dehydrated Water

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

From the Diary of the Dog and the Cat

From a Dog’s Diary:
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favourite thing !
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe … for now.