Posts tagged ‘Kids’

Questions from Kids

- Dad, why did you marry mom ?
- So you cant understand that either son?

- Aunt Teresa, why do you put makeup on yourself ? -
- To look prettier
- Does it take long before it works ? –

- Thank you uncle, for the gift
- Just a pleasure Peter, but you dont have to thank me
- Thants what I told mom too, but she said I had to do it anyways.

- Aunt Teresa, Where do you come from ? -
- The beauty parlor
- Was it closed ? -

- Dad, what is a monologo -
- What I have with your mother every night
- Grandma, Close your eyes
- And why do you want me to close my eyes? 
- Because daddy said that when you close your eyes, we will become millionaires.

-  Mom, have you asked Dad if he can buy me a bike ?
-  Yes, Several times, but it doesn't help. He doesnt want to. 
-  Did you try with nervous breakdowns like with the fur coat? 

- Manuel, Do you know the difference between toilet paper and curtains ?
- No, mom.
- So it was you, right?

- Mom, I want to become a nun
- Peter, I have told you 1000 times that that is not possible 

- Dad, what is telepathy ?
- Its when two people think the same thing at the same time.
- Like you and mom?
- No son, that was just a casualty
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Rubes by Leigh Rubes

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Growing up

A responsible dad sits down with his son and asks if he has heard about the “flowers and the bees”.

“I don’t want to know nothing about that !” – says the son. “Promise me that you don’t tell me about it”, he cries while his tears are streaming down his cheeks.

The dad is very surprised and asks the kid what is wrong.

– “Oh, daddy! When I was 6 you told me that Santa doesn’t exist.

When I turned 7 yo”u told me that the Easter Bunny wasn’t Real.

And when I was 8 you told me that the Tooth Fairy was just a lie.

…. And if you now are going to tell me that grown ups don’t fuck I really have nothing left to live for!