Posts tagged ‘Lies’

Poor Memory

A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8.

“But I already paid you. Don’t you remember?” says the customer.

“OK,” says the bartender, “if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”

The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can’t keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, “OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”

The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs.

The bartender leans over and says, “You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the — ”

The man interrupts, “Don’t bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my change and I’ll be on my way.”

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Rubes by Leigh Rubes

Jumping%20on%20the%20bed%201

Lip%20Pirecing%20(revised)

Piggy%20Banks Pinocchio Post%20Party%20Cow Pierced%20Udders Salmon Weeds Pirate%20Booty

Exam Questions – and Answers…

No matter how far our exams are dumbed down, it seems it’s not far enough for today’s pupils. 

But rather than admit defeat in the face of tricky questions, some decide to take a more creative approach to their answers.
After scouring exam papers and speaking to teachers, humorist Richard Benson has collected the worst student howlers in a new book.
You won’t know whether to laugh – or cry. 
 

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