Posts tagged ‘Parenting’

Family life

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2005DEC06SnowmenChild

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My little Pumpkin

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Questions from Kids

- Dad, why did you marry mom ?
- So you cant understand that either son?

- Aunt Teresa, why do you put makeup on yourself ? -
- To look prettier
- Does it take long before it works ? –

- Thank you uncle, for the gift
- Just a pleasure Peter, but you dont have to thank me
- Thants what I told mom too, but she said I had to do it anyways.

- Aunt Teresa, Where do you come from ? -
- The beauty parlor
- Was it closed ? -

- Dad, what is a monologo -
- What I have with your mother every night
- Grandma, Close your eyes
- And why do you want me to close my eyes? 
- Because daddy said that when you close your eyes, we will become millionaires.

-  Mom, have you asked Dad if he can buy me a bike ?
-  Yes, Several times, but it doesn't help. He doesnt want to. 
-  Did you try with nervous breakdowns like with the fur coat? 

- Manuel, Do you know the difference between toilet paper and curtains ?
- No, mom.
- So it was you, right?

- Mom, I want to become a nun
- Peter, I have told you 1000 times that that is not possible 

- Dad, what is telepathy ?
- Its when two people think the same thing at the same time.
- Like you and mom?
- No son, that was just a casualty
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Vasectomy

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Generation Changes

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BB Boys

A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won’t matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don’t even notice the BBs.

The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, ”Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!”
She says ”That’s okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You’ll be fine.”

Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, ”Mom, mom, I-” but the mother cuts him off and she says, ”I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.”

Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, ”Mom, mom, I-” and the mother cuts him off and says, ”I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It’s my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.” But then son says, ”No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!”

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I need a toilet break

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