Posts tagged ‘Pearly Gate’

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9 lives

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Second Chances

second-chance

Wish you would have searched the freezer

Old Agatha arrived heaven and knocked the Pearl gate and was immediately let in. She wandered around for a while and suddenly she caught the glimpse of her best friend, Louise, and hurried over to have a chat with her.

A – Hey Louise, Nice to see you but why are you up her?
L – Well, you see, I froze to death..
A – Wow. That cant have been a good way to pass.
L – Nah, wasnt that bad actually. As soon as the shaking and shivering passed I felt this warm spread in me and the next thing I knew I was here. But what about you? Why are you here.
A – You see. I was pretty convinced that my husband was cheating on me and I decided to come home early from work one day to check up on my suspicion. I arrived home yesterday and he was just sitting in the chair like nothing had happened. I was so convinced that he was having someone there that I started searching all over the attic, the cellar, the living room, even the kitchen and the bedrooms, but I found nothing.
L – Thats good though. You should be happy then
A – No, actually I was getting so caved up because I was so certain I was right that I had a heart attack and died from the exhaustion and stress from searching the whole house.
L – I wish you would have searched in the Freezer as well and we might have been alive yet both of us !!!

R.I.P Jobs

I sent my CV to apple this morning and just got the reply: ‘no jobs here’…

“Finally laid to rest in a sleek white casket, the late Steve Jobs is surrounded by mourners in a massive cathedral. As the afternoon sunlight shines down on him through intricate stained glass revealing a beautiful spectrum of colours, Mr. Jobs will be remembered in death as he was in life.
Overshadowed by windows.”

Steve Jobs was so disappointed in the iPhone 4S that it killed him.

They say that before you die your life flashes before your eyes, too bad Apple doesn’t support Flash…

The economy is getting worse. We keep losing more and more Jobs.

In an address to Apple this morning, President Obama informed them that this is not what he meant by “shovel ready Jobs”.

The iPhone 4s release date has been set back, so that Apple could rush iCoffin io market. It has a glass top and bottom with aluminum sides. It only supports 5 pall bearers. If you touch it on the bottom left, the occupant doesn’t make it to heaven. Or you could buy a bumper for an additional $499.

Links to other sites that take this one a lot further than I will
http://molempire.com/2011/10/07/even-more-steve-jobs-jokes/