Posts tagged ‘Sex’

Who came first?

A Chicken and an Egg are lying in bed.

The Chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.

The Egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet and rolls over and says:

“Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!”

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The Power of Love

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I’m not saying you sleep with you roommate…

A mother is invited by her son, Anthony, for dinner.

He lives with a female roommate, Tina.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Tina and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Tina came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure. ”

So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear Mama,
I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

Dear son,
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Tina, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Love, Mama

Mad Cow Disease

A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. “Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?”

“Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?”

“Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what’s the relationship between this and Mad Cow?”

“And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?”

“Mr. Brown, that’s interesting, but, what’s the point?”

“Lady, the point is this: if I’m playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn’t you go mad, too?”

E.T. Is still around

This is what really happened when E.T. left on that bike:

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And the real reason why E.T. kept wanting to “Phone home”.

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And now he lives in hiding, but he has been spotted…

ET

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Economy

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