Posts tagged ‘Video Camera’

Things you shouldn’t say in bed

1. But everybody looks funny naked!

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. Try breathing through your nose.

6.  Is that a  Medic-Alert Pendant?

7. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

8. But whipped cream makes me break out.

9.  Person 1: This is your  first time..right?
Person 2: Yeah.. today

10. (in the Hotel/ Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

11. Can  you please pass me the remote control?

12. Do you accept Visa?


14. On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.

15. And to think- I  was really trying to pick up your friend!

16. So much for  mouth-to-mouth.

17. Hope you’re as good looking when I’m  sober…

18. Do you get any premium movie channels?

19. But I  just brushed my teeth…

20. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!

21.  I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

22. I want a baby!

23. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

24. I think you  have it on backwards.

25. When is this supposed to feel good?

26. Did you remember to take the pill?

27. Are you sure I don’t know you  from somewhere?

28. I wish we got the Playboy channel…

29. That leak better be from the  waterbed!

30. I told you it wouldn’t work without batteries!

31. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..

32. No,  really… I do this part better myself!

33. It’s nice being in bed with  a woman I don’t have to inflate!

34. This would be more fun with a few  more people.

35. You’re almost as good as my ex!

36. Is that you  I smell or is your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

37. You look  younger than you feel.

38. Perhaps you’re just out of practice.

39. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

40. They’re not cracker  crumbs, it’s just a rash.

41. Now I know why he dumped you…

42. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?

43. You give me reason to  conclude that foreplay is overrated.

44. What tampon?

45. Have  you ever considered liposuction?

46. And to think, I didn’t even have to  buy you dinner!

47. What are you planning to make for breakfast?

48. I have a confession…

49. Are those real or am I just behind the  times?

50. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?

51.  You’ll still vote for me, won’t you?

52. Did I mention my transsexual  operation?

53. I really hate women who actually think sex means  something!

54. Did you come yet, dear?

55. I’ll tell you who I’m  fantasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about…

56. A  good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

57. Does this  count as a date?

58. Oprah Winfrey had a show about women like  you!

59. Hic! I need another beer for this please.

60. When  would you like to meet my parents?

61. Man: Maybe it would help if I  thought about someone I really like… Woman: Yourself?

62. (in a phone  booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?

63. Sorry but I don’t  do toes!

64. You could at least ACT like you’re enjoying it!

65.  Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!

66. Keep it down, my  mother is a light sleeper…

67. I’ll bet you didn’t know I work for  “The Enquirer”.

68. So that’s why they call you Ms. Flash!

69.  Hey, when is it going to be my friend’s turn?

70. Please understand  that I’m only doing this for a raise…

71. How long do you plan to be  “almost there”?

72. You mean you’re NOT my blind date?