Posts tagged ‘Work’

Politics

A young boy says to his father:

– “Daddy, I am writing a paper for school. Can I ask you about something?”

– “Sure kid, give it a go!”

– “What is politics, dad?”

– “Well… Within politics there are 5 aspects: 1) The population, 2) The Government, 3) The Economical Power, 4) The working class and 5) The future of the Country.”

– “I don’t get that, dad. Can you explain that to me?”

– “Sure, I will use our home as an example. I earn the money to the common household; hence I am the Economical power. Your mother administrates and uses that money; Hence she is the government. We take care of your needs; You are The population. Your little brother is the future of the country, and his nanny is the working class.
Do you understand it now?”

– “More or less”

During that night the boy woke up by his little brothers cries. The boy got up to see what was wrong to discover his little brother in need of a diaper change. He entered his parents bedroom, where his mom was in deep sleep.

Then he went to the nanny’s room. Peeking through the keyhole he saw that his father lay atop the nanny. As they didn’t react when he knocked on the door, he went back to his room and back to bed to continue his sleep.

The next morning the boy said to his father:

– “Now I think I understand what politics is all about”.

– “Awesome my boy! Now try to explain to me in your own words”

– “I think it is more or less like this: While the Economical power fucks the working class, the Government sleeps through it. The populations is ignored completely and the future of the country is standing with shit up to his ears.”

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Easily Scared Basse

Basse is from my home town. I don’t know him, but he has become rather famous because he is so easily scared. He laughs of it himself (even when he sees the video clip of himself).

He even got on the Ellen DeGeneres Show:

Best Out of Office Automatic e-mail Replies

1.    I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over….)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Susan’ instead of Steve

Disclaimer: It might not actually be smart to use these in a real job though :)

Calvin and Hobbes – Snowman House of Horror

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Sharks

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snowman humor face-lift

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